Badly Written Recipes: Chilli Beef/Crispy Tofu Ramen

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Aight recipe number 2 from me. If you know me, you know that I’m all about killing it in a studio, the kitchen is just a side hobby so make sure to read the WHOLE THING before cooking as i forget to write things in the right place from time to time.

for this recipe I use cheap instant noodles for two reasons: 1 is the come with stock and they cook super quick which takes a lot of effort out. 2 is that they taste AWESOME to me! when you grow up broke or had the university woes you almost definitely backed about 100 packs of these in your lifetime, you know its the truth don’t lie!! if you want you can substitute em for some fresh egg or rice noodles no problem though.

I also like throwing in VEGAN alternatives so my plant-based peeps can enjoy too!

so you’re gonna need:

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1 good steak ,any will do (Vegans grab some japanese tofu, and a bag of panko

breadcrumbs!)

1 packet of ramen (theyre usually wheat noodles but if you’re vegan be sure, and get spicy, or sesame flavour)

half a pack of beansprouts

half an avocado

1 …stalk? of lemongrass

1 red chilli

1 green chilli

fresh coriander (cilantro to the yanks lol)

1 lime

1 clove of garlic

crushed chilli

powdered ginger

1 teaspoon of mirin

garlic powder

dried parsley

chiu chow chilli oil

1 handful  of baby spinach

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before we start, I just have to stress how lit this chilli oil is man, i could eat it on its own easily. I don’t know what chilli oil you picked up, but try and get this one and you wont be disappointed.

Cooking the steak

ok first you want to let your steak reach room temp. take it out of its packaging and leave it for like 20 mins. we’re gonna cook the steak first, then while its rests do the noodle soup. the only difference if you’re doing the tofu version is that you’re gonna fry your tofu AFTER you make the soup as it needs no time to rest and it cooks super quick.

Put a non stick frying pan on a really hot stove till its almost smoking. season your steak with salt, black pepper, a teensy bit of mirin and the chiu chow chilli oil (just the liquid, not the chilli bits at the bottom)

cooking a steak right is a pretty personal thing due to the preference of rarity, so do it how you like it, youtube it, all of that. i like mine medium and this is how i do it personally (vegans the method for the tofu is written AFTER the soup so scroll doooown)

throw the steak on the dry pan on maximum heat for 1minute , flip over and sear the other side for another minute. turn the heat halfway and continue to cook for 3 minutes each side (im using a pretty thick cut, so adjust the time depending on the meats thickness)

now this is the MOST IMPORTANT point in this whole recipe. let the meat REST DAMMIT. put it on a chopping board, and don’t touch it for 10 minutes. seriously, this is one of the biggest things between your meat being trash or treasure lol.

Cooking the soup

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Now the soup, fill your serving bowl, yes your serving bowl three quarters full with cold water then transfer that water into a small saucepan and put onto the stove, medium heat.

chop the green chilli, crush the garlic, juice half a lime and throw in the water. add 1 teaspoon of dried garlic, crushed chilli and ginger. add the seasoning sachet(s) that came with the ramen and add the dried ramen block. crack the lemongrass stalk and throw it in. beansprouts? throw em in.

leave to simmer, stirring occasionally for 5-10 minutes, just check the noodles and when they’re limp enough to your liking, take off the stove.

chop up some coriander and thickly slice the red chilli. slice up the avocado.

Vegans! your time right here! –

crispy tofu in panko breadcrumbs recipe

remove your tofu from the packaging and thickly slice (like 1 cm thick. 3-4 slices don’t be greedy!)

season with salt, pepper,  1 teaspoon of mirin, 1 teaspoon of dark soy sauce & 1 teaspoon of garlic powder. empty out the panko breadcrumbs into a bowl and firmly press each slice into the crumbs, including the sides.

generously pour some chilli oil into  the frying pan on a hot stove till it heats up and cook the tofu 3 minutes each side on a medium to high heat. once golden brown, place on a wire rack or some kitchen towel while you assemble

Assembly

now time to bring all the glory together.

arrange your baby spinach around the bowl like a little nest. Take the lemongrass stalk out of the pot, unless you’re as savage and wanna try eating it and gently pour the contents into the bowl, in the dead centre.

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slice the steak diagonally, really thin, and arrange the corriander, steak, avocado & chilli’s like in the pic. get a nice big spoonful of the seeds in the bottom of the chilli oil and place in the middle, drizzle some oil over the steak slices and sprinkle some parsley over the top!

boom bang we’re done!

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this takes about 20mins and its reeeeeeally good, but lemma know your thoughts in the comments and all that.

i’ll try and alternate weekly between my cover songs and recipes, but check out the daily posts in between too. till next time!

Badly Written Recipes: Thai Red Curry, Jasmine sticky Rice & A Char Siu Skewer

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Alright a promise is a promise. You wanted recipes and don’t have em, BUT, I do make some pretty tasty food every now and again and although i might not have every tiny measurement (i don’t really measure ingredients) here my thought process through cooking.

 

My wifes vegan, so I have a natural reflex to keep vegan alternative ingredients in mind and

I’ve listed them here also so you’re all good!

PLEASE read the WHOLE thing first, as I might randomly start talking about adding an ingredient waaay later and you’ll be like ‘what the hell?’

theres bound to be spelling mistakes too, so sorry about that.

Aight so here we go, thai red curry with a skewer of char siu chicken because I’m greedy like that.

I like to think that every country has their ‘Star player’ ingredients, thai food would be: garlic, lime, lemongrass, ginger, chilli, basil & coriander (or cilantro for you u.s folk). you can literally throw these ingredients on anything anything and it’d give it a thai feel.

If you’re not that kitchen savvy, I strongly suggest you just buy thai red curry paste from the shop, it tastes pretty damn good, and when you throw that with coconut milk you’re good to go. But if you wanna get all fancy for no reason like i did, you’re gonna need:

1 shallot chopped

1 stalk fresh lemongrass, minced,

1-2 red chilies,

4 cloves garlic

1 thumb-size piece of ginger, sliced

2 Tbsp of tomato puree

1 tsp. ground cumin

3/4 tsp. ground coriander

1/4 tsp. ground white pepper

2 Tbsp. fish sauce, or if you’re vegan 2 Tbsp. soy sauce, plus salt to taste

1 tsp. shrimp paste, or for the vegans 1 Tbsp of Thai golden mountain sauce

1 tsp. sugar

1+1/2 to 2 Tbsp. chili powder

depending on how spicy you want it

3 Tbsp. thick coconut milk, or just enough to keep the blades turning (you’re gonna need more for the curry anyway)

2 Tbsp. fresh-squeezed lime juice

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once you have all that, bung it in the blender and button smash the crap out of it until it forms a solid paste. It wont be super super red, but it will while cooking the curry

so yeah, ALL that, or just get a pack of red thai curry sauce lol.

Next you’ll need some chopped chicken breast, or for the veggie vegan crew, some tofu or/and  broccoli, sweet potato (half boiled, chick peas, or anything else that you’re feeling)

For the rice I strongly suggest sticky jasmine rice, as thats the equivalent of pure crack in the rice world, but any rice is all good. I’m not gonna go into cooking the damn rice, just have it ready near the end of the curry. you can do it, i believe in you.

get your chicken (or veg), and add fresh crushed garlic, garlic powder,  salt, pepper, ground basil, a  lil bit of ginger powder, and half a freshly squeezed lime, mix that about and leave it for about 5 mins (the longer you leave it the better)

get a frying pan on, throw some oil in, (olive preferably) and then add the chicken. infrequently stir it, like every 2 mins, just to ensure its cooking evenly till it looks golden brown, probably around the 10 min mark. the chicken probably aint cooked fully yet so don’t take a bite and die yeah?

add the red curry paste and let that bad boy sizzle, in the pan. Awaken your inner ninja and start randomly stirring it all about until the paste covers the chicken. next add that remaining coconut milk so you’ve got a real nice curry sauce vibing in your pan.

after 10 mins add some freshly chopped basil, plate it up with the rice and garnish with that awesome rice. BOOM game done.

Fat Boy EXTRA

The chicken char siu skewer was totally unnecessary and i was absolutely STUFFED without it, but if you wanna make it as a starter or something, simply season chopped chicken breast, or tofu (vegan alert) with:

2 tbsp dark soy sauce

2 tbsp light soy sauce

2 tbsp oyster sauce (if your vegan or veggie just use Worcestershire sauuuuce)

2 tbsp rice wine vinegar

3 tbsp honey

2 tbsp brown sugar

4 tbsp hoisin sauce

1/2 tsp Chinese five spice

1/2 tbsp red food colouring

mix all that in and leave it for an hour at LEAST but over night will be better, then throw some sticky char siu in the mix. you don’t have to, but I’m a bit over the top like that.

grab your skewer, and pierce the chicken pieces onto the skewer. if you’re using tofu, make sure you go SLOOOWLY man, you don’t want it breaking off and all that. throw that in an oven on a wire rack on 180 degrees for about… er i dunno, 20 mins? 25 maybe? and there you bloody have it!

lemmie know what think in the comments, and if you tried it out! Till next time…

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