Badly Written Recipes: Chilli Beef/Crispy Tofu Ramen

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Aight recipe number 2 from me. If you know me, you know that I’m all about killing it in a studio, the kitchen is just a side hobby so make sure to read the WHOLE THING before cooking as i forget to write things in the right place from time to time.

for this recipe I use cheap instant noodles for two reasons: 1 is the come with stock and they cook super quick which takes a lot of effort out. 2 is that they taste AWESOME to me! when you grow up broke or had the university woes you almost definitely backed about 100 packs of these in your lifetime, you know its the truth don’t lie!! if you want you can substitute em for some fresh egg or rice noodles no problem though.

I also like throwing in VEGAN alternatives so my plant-based peeps can enjoy too!

so you’re gonna need:

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1 good steak ,any will do (Vegans grab some japanese tofu, and a bag of panko

breadcrumbs!)

1 packet of ramen (theyre usually wheat noodles but if you’re vegan be sure, and get spicy, or sesame flavour)

half a pack of beansprouts

half an avocado

1 …stalk? of lemongrass

1 red chilli

1 green chilli

fresh coriander (cilantro to the yanks lol)

1 lime

1 clove of garlic

crushed chilli

powdered ginger

1 teaspoon of mirin

garlic powder

dried parsley

chiu chow chilli oil

1 handful  of baby spinach

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before we start, I just have to stress how lit this chilli oil is man, i could eat it on its own easily. I don’t know what chilli oil you picked up, but try and get this one and you wont be disappointed.

Cooking the steak

ok first you want to let your steak reach room temp. take it out of its packaging and leave it for like 20 mins. we’re gonna cook the steak first, then while its rests do the noodle soup. the only difference if you’re doing the tofu version is that you’re gonna fry your tofu AFTER you make the soup as it needs no time to rest and it cooks super quick.

Put a non stick frying pan on a really hot stove till its almost smoking. season your steak with salt, black pepper, a teensy bit of mirin and the chiu chow chilli oil (just the liquid, not the chilli bits at the bottom)

cooking a steak right is a pretty personal thing due to the preference of rarity, so do it how you like it, youtube it, all of that. i like mine medium and this is how i do it personally (vegans the method for the tofu is written AFTER the soup so scroll doooown)

throw the steak on the dry pan on maximum heat for 1minute , flip over and sear the other side for another minute. turn the heat halfway and continue to cook for 3 minutes each side (im using a pretty thick cut, so adjust the time depending on the meats thickness)

now this is the MOST IMPORTANT point in this whole recipe. let the meat REST DAMMIT. put it on a chopping board, and don’t touch it for 10 minutes. seriously, this is one of the biggest things between your meat being trash or treasure lol.

Cooking the soup

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Now the soup, fill your serving bowl, yes your serving bowl three quarters full with cold water then transfer that water into a small saucepan and put onto the stove, medium heat.

chop the green chilli, crush the garlic, juice half a lime and throw in the water. add 1 teaspoon of dried garlic, crushed chilli and ginger. add the seasoning sachet(s) that came with the ramen and add the dried ramen block. crack the lemongrass stalk and throw it in. beansprouts? throw em in.

leave to simmer, stirring occasionally for 5-10 minutes, just check the noodles and when they’re limp enough to your liking, take off the stove.

chop up some coriander and thickly slice the red chilli. slice up the avocado.

Vegans! your time right here! –

crispy tofu in panko breadcrumbs recipe

remove your tofu from the packaging and thickly slice (like 1 cm thick. 3-4 slices don’t be greedy!)

season with salt, pepper,  1 teaspoon of mirin, 1 teaspoon of dark soy sauce & 1 teaspoon of garlic powder. empty out the panko breadcrumbs into a bowl and firmly press each slice into the crumbs, including the sides.

generously pour some chilli oil into  the frying pan on a hot stove till it heats up and cook the tofu 3 minutes each side on a medium to high heat. once golden brown, place on a wire rack or some kitchen towel while you assemble

Assembly

now time to bring all the glory together.

arrange your baby spinach around the bowl like a little nest. Take the lemongrass stalk out of the pot, unless you’re as savage and wanna try eating it and gently pour the contents into the bowl, in the dead centre.

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slice the steak diagonally, really thin, and arrange the corriander, steak, avocado & chilli’s like in the pic. get a nice big spoonful of the seeds in the bottom of the chilli oil and place in the middle, drizzle some oil over the steak slices and sprinkle some parsley over the top!

boom bang we’re done!

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this takes about 20mins and its reeeeeeally good, but lemma know your thoughts in the comments and all that.

i’ll try and alternate weekly between my cover songs and recipes, but check out the daily posts in between too. till next time!

How To Cut String With Your Bare Hands Like This Craft-God Here

cut-rope-with-bare-hands-essential-craftsman-scott-2kvIf you’re like me, you wake up every morning constantly wondering that same all important question: how do you cut string with your bare hands? Well worry not, the answer is a big fat yes and some random guy who’s name i didn’t pay much attention to shows you how in the handy 60 second video below

can we also just take a moment to check my mans pose? look at his eyes, he knows he’s got the juice.

Enjoy my fellow procrastinator

Candy Flavoured Pringles (Random Food Stuffs Pt1)

Title kinda says it all really dont it, check it out lol.

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“Fans of sweet-savory flavor combinations may be glad to hear that Pringles has come out with a season-specific Sugar Cookie Chip flavor for its Holiday 2016 lineup. The newest addition joins the snack brand’s oddly flavored holiday chip family, which includes other American classics such as Pecan Pie and Salted Caramel. The desert flavors will come in cans dressed in festive holiday sweater designs that will surely put you in the mood for Christmas. Being more sweet than savory, with less than 2% of sodium, we see these Sugar Cookie chips becoming a great prank for your frenemies. Look for these flavors to pop up in your local grocery store in the coming weeks.”

McDonald’s Nutella Burger

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“Fast food giant McDonald’s is introducing a new item on its menu, albeit only for the Italian market. Dubbed the “Sweety con Nutella,” this special ‘burger’ is made with a glob of the famous hazelnut spread generously sandwiched between the chain’s famous soft buns. The sweet treat was announced on Facebook Thursday evening with the words, “A soft sweetness has arrived that you will not be able to resist. Try Sweety with Nutella now: soft bread with a creamy, indulgent center!”

Apple Pie Oreos

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“As one of America’s favorite desserts, Nabisco has decided to recreate the apple pie into delicious Oreo cookie form. The brand has recently dropped the package design for the upcoming cookie variation, which will most likely feature a vanilla cookie sandwich and an apple pie-flavored creme as the center. According to Junk Banter, the Apple Pie Oreo will debut in advance of Labor Day in 2017. Make sure to keep an eye out, and in the meantime try one of Oreo’s new cookie-stuffed chocolate bars.”

Caramel M&M’s

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M&M’s revealed recently in a press release that starting May 2017 it will begin selling caramel-filled candies in America. This will not be the first time the brand fills its centers with unexpected delicious treats, as it previously released pretzel crisp and coffee nut M&M’s. Hank Izzo, vice president of research and development of parent company Mars Chocolate, told CNN, ”It was a big technological challenge for us […] we had to figure out how to not make the chocolate too sticky or too soft that it could collapse.” For those stateside look out for the smooth and soft cored M&M’s to reach shelves soon, and for those located elsewhere stayed tuned for a global release details as they become available.

The New Anime About Fighting With Your Butt. Yes, For Real

02efb5862c8f76d2d9239913c3c323d71475742970_fullSo as you may or may not know I’m am NECK DEEP into japanese culture, manga, anime and video games in particular, and I generally pick up 9-10 new anime series per season (watched with subtitles of course.) there are a LOT of weird anime that come out, and an equal number of anime that showcase the more ‘ecchi’ side of things (the random boob shot etc) but this, THIS takes the biscuit.

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Ladies and gentlemen I present to you Keijo: the battle of the asses!! now I personally am NOT following this anime at all… i mean, what self respecting man would watch an anime focusing on a new sport in which two women battle it out on a floating disc in the water, aiming to knock the opponent off using only her butt or bust??

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Because I haven’t been following it, i don’t know that the series is set in an alternate reality where a new, women-only, gambling sport known as “keijo”, quickly becomes a fad in Japan since its introduction in the dawn of the 21st century. Keijo matches are held atop floating platforms, referred to as a “Land”, in large water-filled stadiums where swimsuit-clad players fight to incapacitate their opponents or push them out to the water, but they can only hit each other using their breasts or buttocks.

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Nozomi Kaminashi is a gifted gymnast who decides to give up her dream of competing in the Olympics and become a keijo player instead, aiming for the high earnings offered there, in order to get herself and her younger siblings out of poverty. As she enters the world of Keijo, Nozomi soon makes new friends and rivals, while learning that the way to fame and fortune in this new, uncommon sport will have more challenges than she ever imagined.

So no, that definitely is NOT the trailer below, and I don’t know when it airs (every Thursday.)

The Selfie Taking Mini Drone You Can Fit In Your iPhone Case

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OOOOh DAMN Now this is some real cool shit right here. A mini drone specifically designed to take selfies, that fits in the back of your iphone case, which you CONTROL with your iphone, AND charges via iphone!

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All you do is slide Airselfie  out of the case and let it fly up to 20 meters (66 feet) away, where a 5MP camera will be able to take pictures of you and store it in its 4GB internal memory. The drone is also able to record HD-quality footage. There are three flight modes, with the simplest being “Selfie Mode”; presumably this means it’ll just park itself at a distance and take pics. The purpose-built case comes with its own battery, so it’ll charge the drone when not in use, giving it a 3 minute flight time.

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Compatible smartphones include the iPhone 6, 6s, 7, 7 Plus, Huawei P9, Google Pixel and Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge. For those without a compatible phone, a separate power bank is available that can be used to charge the drone up to 20 times. It also sports a Micro-USB port that can be used for charging.
It’s currently undergoing some crowdfunding, with a €179 (US$189) pledge securing you a drone, a phone cover and a Micro USB cable. Shipping is slated for March 2017.

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Drake – Fake Love (Jovel Refix)

img_9838Ive started doing weekly refixes again just to shake the frustration of recording without being allowed to put anything out and this week I did Drakes ‘Fake love.’ I Usuall remake everything from scratch but as a friend of mine where the exact samples were from, the beat sounds near identical. the only thing I didnt nail were the sub drums but whatever. I reeeally regret not adding guitars too, but I was a bit short on time with it, I rewrote all the lyrics as always though, and I even had my first try at adobe after effects ro make the moving vid, so thats something lol.

Anyway, here it is and I hope you enjoy it. till next week!